


Heaven

by Joliepolska



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Past Relationship(s), Relationship(s), Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-19
Updated: 2015-05-19
Packaged: 2018-03-31 06:22:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3967717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joliepolska/pseuds/Joliepolska
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Since you are a witness of a very important case, Olivia Benson insisted that you should meet ADA Rafael Barba. That man is going to be the death of you! (in a wonderful way, of course). Rafael and you will have trouble to keep your relationship strictly professional. Since yours and Rafael's points of view.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heaven

**Author's Note:**

> I want to thank all the fantastic authors of this website, they inspired me a lot. This could be a serie but I haven't decided yet.  
> Since english is not my native language I appreciate suggestions and comments. (By the way, spanish is my native language, so if you need help with Raul Esparza's characters, I'm glad to help).
> 
> My PC sucks, so I define the time jumps with these: ------- I hope it helps.

You woke up in the middle of the night without any clue of the time. You only knew that it was late (or early??). You heard him sigh. So you didn’t dream about it. It actually happened.  
When you visited your aunt that Sunday afternoon you didn’t talk to her about him. She asked you about the trial but you changed the subject. You didn’t want to talk about it, because the whole thing made you think about him. In fact, you didn’t need someone to remind him; since the day you met Rafael Barba you knew you were doomed.  
The detectives looked for you since they found out you knew a man. A rapist. “That can’t be”, you thought but you have to cooperate with the police. So, you became a witness and the Sergeant Olivia Benson insisted that you should meet the ADA Rafael Barba.  
Damn. How handsome he looks, that was your first thought. Beautiful green eyes, no wedding ring, beautiful hands, by the way. Elegant, educated, intelligent and single (as far as you knew) and all the time you were talking to him you were wondering if he would be good in bed. Yes. You were doomed.  
The first week you thought you were imagining things. The way he looked at you, he smiled at you. He didn’t do that with anybody else. You certainly were flirting with him at beginning, and then you stopped since you figured out that that behavior could translate into nothing but trouble for his case, besides you were his witness.  
The recalls from last Friday were coming back over and over and you couldn’t avoid feeling guilty…

\----------------------

-How do you like men, miss? –Buchanan asked you.  
-Objection! –Barba said –Relevance?  
-I’ll allow it –the judge said –Answer the question, miss.  
You hesitated. You looked at Rafael and he nodded.  
-Older than me, intelligent, educated… -you said.  
-Black or white? –Buchanan asked.  
-That’s irrelevant.  
-But good looking.  
-Of course.  
-Like ADA Barba, right?  
Shit. Now Buchanan found out. And you have to answer in front of everybody else that you really like Rafael Barba and…  
-Objection! –said Barba.  
-Isn’t that right, miss? –Buchanan continued –He’s good looking, intelligent…  
-Objection!  
-In fact, in these pictures you two look really comfortable with each other… -continued Buchanan, showing some pictures that you couldn’t see.  
-Objection!  
-Counsellors, both of you, to my office, now! –the judge said.  
You blew it. You knew that. You didn’t know how, but definitely it was your fault. You stayed on the stand until a police officer arrived and said that your testimony will continue until Monday at 11.  
You got out of court, without knowing anything of what just happened. Should you wait for Rafael to ask him?  
-Miss –Buchanan said once he left the building –I want to thank you.  
-What the hell for?  
-Because of you and your little romance with the DA, his case is already falling apart.  
-That’s not true –you answered. You definitely would remember if you and Rafael had a romance in other place beside your dreams.  
-That’s not what the judge thinks –he said with a smirk before leaving you totally confused.

_______________________

Damn it! You knew it! You blew it! Later that afternoon, you tried to see Rafael but you couldn’t find him at his office.  
You spent the whole Saturday torturing yourself and trying to remember the pictures Buchanan had. Comfortable with each other? Those words were hammering your head. What kind of evidence could Buchanan have against you two?  
On Sunday you decided to take care of other things so you left home really early and go to you Aunt’s. Spending all Sunday in there you almost forgot you blew it at court. At 10 you look your watch and decided to say good night.  
But when you got home nothing could prepare you for that.

Rafael Barba was there, standing at your door.  
-Rafael? –you asked without actually believing it.  
-Hey –he smiled. So he wasn’t mad at you. What a relief because that thought was haunting you all weekend and you couldn’t spend other night without sleeping and thinking how you could fix the mess you created.  
-Don’t tell me you’ve been here long enough.  
-Only five minutes –he said –I have to talk to you.  
-Do you want to come in? –you said unlocking the door.

He thought about it for a second. But only a second.  
-Of course.  
-Do you want something to drink? –you asked once you were in your apartment.  
-Only water, thanks.  
-Ok, take a sit. Feel yourself at home.

You went straight to the kitchen and left him in your living room. You needed some tea and pour water in the teapot. When you got back, he was looking at your books.  
-Here –you said.  
-Thanks. A lot of history books you have here.  
-My favorite subject since I was a kid. Which one was yours?  
-Literature.  
-So, what happened? Besides I ruined your case, I mean?  
-Ruined my case? What are you talking about?  
-That’s what Buchanan said. That thanks to me your case was already ruined.  
-What the…?! No! You didn’t ruin anything!  
-But… the pictures he had… what they were about?  
-It was nothing. Just some pictures someone took when we were talking outside the precint two weeks ago. Remember?

Of course you remember. That day you went to talk to him. You two argued about something and you left. He reached you at the stairs and took your hand so you wouldn’t leave. And you stayed without any intention of moving his hand away.  
-That’s it?! We were holding hands and Buchanan thought we had something?!  
-That’s it and I assume, based on that, that his love life must be terribly boring.

You laughed. Handsome, intelligent and besides all that, he could make you laugh. And now, you know he’s single. The sound of the tea pot took you back to reality. 

-Excuse me –you said, before you went to the kitchen.

“Focus, girl!” you thought once you were alone in the kitchen. If something happened, you would actually ruin his case. The last thing on earth you could do would be hurting him. You sighed in front of the sink.

-Should I leave this here? –asked Rafael behind you, leaving the empty glass on the sink.

His arms were around you, and he smelled amazing. You tried not to move but you could feel his presence so powerful and overwhelming beside you. You turn your face to look at him. He had his beautiful green eyes locked on you and no intention of moving away.  
Suddenly his lips were on yours and you immediately open your mouth to deepen the kiss. God, it felt better than you imagined it. You ran your fingers through his hair and he held you in his arms, directing you against the wall. 

You knew this was wrong. Your mind was screaming that he was the ADA, you were his witness. He could lose his job for doing this. Now girl, focus!! Pull away!! You will have the opportunity of doing this after the trial. AFTER!

Then he put one hand underneath your blouse caressing the skin of your waist meanwhile his tongue started massaging tenderly your own.  
Now all the attempts of pulling away just left through the window. All the thoughts screaming at you that this was wrong are already gone. You just want him to touch you, to kiss you, to take you at all.  
He moved his lips from your mouth to your cheek, to your ear sucking your earlobe and making you shiver and moan. No. You couldn’t let him go now. He moved his lips back on yours before breaking the kiss and leaned his forehead against yours.

-We shouldn’t be doing this –you said.

“Damn it!!” “Why the hell did you say THAT?! Now?! Really?!”

-I know –he answered, already panting –Should I stop?

You shook your head and kissed him again. 

-I …don’t want you… to. Unless you… want me… to stop –you replied between kisses.  
-No… nunca…

He kissed you deeply again. You held him and lead him through the living room and thanked God that your apartment was kind of small. You didn’t want to waste more time going upstairs. When you were in your bedroom you kicked the door to close it. You sat on the bed looking at him. He was really charming, how anybody could expect you to control yourself?

He leaned over you completely on bed before kissing you again. It had been a long time since a man kissed you like that. In fact, you couldn’t remember that a man kissed you like that in your whole life. With such abandon, with that passion that made you sigh and moan between kisses. You couldn’t believe that Rafael Barba, the man that seems to be in control all the time just could let himself go with you. And that behavior made you want him even more.  
Since it was Sunday, he wasn’t wearing the perfect suits he wore all time. He was in jeans and a sweater, the one you take off of him and tossed away. It was the best that he wasn’t wearing anything underneath that sweater. You saw a golden cross hanging from his neck. You took it in your hand.  
-Do you believe in heaven, counsellor?  
-I think I’m already in it –he answered before kissing you again. Those lips were going to be the death of you. And those hands.  
One of his hands was caressing your thighs under your skirt and you felt like his touch was burning you. And the other hand was undoing the buttons of your blouse so slowly that it was already driving you crazy. He was taking his time but you thought you couldn’t take it anymore.  
You ran your fingers through his chest when he just finished unbuttoning your blouse. He saw the heart locket pendant you had in your neck.  
-Do you believe in love, niña? –he asked you looking you straight in the eyes.

“Now, don’t ruin this with a stupid answer”, you thought immediately.

-I do.  
-Mmmm –he murmured smiling before kissing you deeply again until you saw the stars.

And he kissed you for you thought were hours and you were aching for him so badly. He undressed you completely without any rush and he kissed every part of your skin while it was being revealed and you loved every second of it, but you didn’t love the fact that he still had his jeans on.  
-Rafael …-you sighed.  
-Yes? –he said as an answer before burying his face in your neck.  
-Please… I’m begging you…  
-What? Tell me… -he whispered into your ear.  
-I want you… I want you inside of me…

His hands went down to the buckle of his belt and you ran your fingers through the fabric of his jeans. You could feel his erection against your leg, obviously he wanted you as well, so why was he making you wait so long? Nevertheless, it was the sweetest torture you’d ever experienced. You wanted to take his jeans off and pull them with anxiety, but he stopped your hands by taking them in his own.  
-You have to be patient niña –he whispered before kissing your knuckles –I want this to last.

At this point, when he asked you to be patient, it sounded as impossible as you’d asked your dog to fly around your building. But, at the same time, you felt in that moment that you couldn’t deny anything to him. He was in complete control meanwhile you were already melting under his touch. You felt some relief when he took his jeans off and you could see his erection more prominent now under his boxers. He pulled something out of one of his jeans’ pockets. Thank God. A condom. You even had forgotten that, but who could blame you? You had some in your drawer but if you wouldn’t, you would run to any drugstore in the middle of the night to buy them.  
Soon his boxers followed his jeans on the floor and you could see his cock now. It was already leaking. He put the condom and crawled over you.

He whispered your name -You’re so beautiful –he sighed.  
-Rafael… -you whispered, anticipating that glorious moment had finally arrived.

Then he got inside you slowly and you could feel him inch by inch. You both moaned with a perfect combination of relief and pleasure. His thrusts were firm but gently. Damn, he exactly knew what to do, and when and how.  
-Rafael… -you moaned –please, faster.  
But he didn’t speed up. You kissed him biting his bottom lip a little in your desperation and he whimpered. You looked at him begging him with your gaze.  
-Paciencia, niña. I promise you it will be worthy.

He really wanted this to last. You didn’t have any clue of how long you’ve been through this. Since he kissed you, the whole world had completely disappeared. You sighed and moaned thinking with hope that Rafael Barba was the kind of man who keeps his promises.  
He changed the angle a bit and your pleasure increased. You were so close and you needed your orgasm since you got to your bed. Your legs surrounded his waist and his thrusts became faster as you felt he was so close too.  
-Rafael, please… don’t stop –you moaned against his mouth.  
-Come with me, niña –he whispered back.

And you did. Your orgasms crashed together and you both moaned loudly. The first time you ever screamed during sex because you couldn’t help yourself. Your nails dig into his back while his thrusts were erratic. He looked at you all the time. You looked so beautiful with your eyes closed, your cunt burning beneath him, clenching deliciously around his cock, the sweat in your body made your skin look like liquid bronze. You were high because of your climax and he wasn’t going to take you back on the ground soon. He was still hard and he knew he could make you come again.

You thought it was over but you felt Rafael kept thrusting into you. You were sensitive already and you were still among the clouds for your recent orgasm when you felt another one getting close. You closed your eyes, arched your back and screamed his name when your second orgasm hit you stronger than the first one. You heard him murmur “Yes” when he came again a couple of seconds after you.

When you opened your eyes you saw him looking at you with a smile on his gorgeous face. You grabbed him by his neck and pull him for a kiss. God, that man was too good to be real. You both whimpered when he pulled his cock out of you.  
-I told you it would be worthy niña –he said before kissing you again.  
-I should… know that… you keep your… promises –you answered between kisses.

Within minutes, you turn off the lights and felt sleep with his arms around you and his lips against your back just below your shoulder.

\---------------

And when you woke up in the middle of the night and heard him sigh behind you, you knew it wasn’t a dream. And you started feeling guilty. If his case wasn’t compromised before, it was now. But then you started to remember what happened that night and you felt yourself turning on again.  
Your bedroom was in complete darkness. Then you felt his fingers going through your hair. That touch was going to be your ruin. Damn. You were so wet again and he was only caressing your hair, so you turned to face him.

-Sorry –he said –I didn’t mean to wake you up.  
-It’s OK –you said before kissing him. You tried to reach your night lamp to turn it on, but he stopped you.  
-Leave it off –he whispered into your ear making you shiver.  
-But I want to see you –you answered turning back to face him.  
-And you will –he said before taking your face in his hands and running his lips trough your eyelids, your cheeks, your ears, your neck and finally your mouth.  
You wouldn’t let him tease you that long this time, so you touched his cock.  
He was hard already and he moaned at your touch. But the two of you could play that game and he ran his fingers through your inner thigh till he found your cunt soaking wet.  
-Rafael… please… don’t make me beg this time –you said without noticing that you were already begging.  
-I wasn’t going to, cariño –he answered panting –preciosa, do you have a condom? I used the only one I had.

You opened your drawer, took one condom and handle it to him. He was right. You almost could see him in the darkness.

-I want you so much –he whispered into your ear once he was on top of you.  
Then he ran his fingers through your cunt and moaned when he felt you were so wet because of him. He entered you slowly as the first time and you whimpered when you felt his entire cock inside of you and his lips against yours. His thrusts were slow and long, one of his hands was on your waist and the other caressing your thigh. You saw his golden cross shone in the darkness.  
You caressed his chest, then his arms, the back of his neck, his hair. Then you touched his face and he looked at you. This wasn’t just a one night stand. You thought it was kind of fast since you never had sex with someone you’d just met a couple of weeks ago, alright, one week ago, but you have imagined that man in your arms since day one.  
You were in the middle of pure divine pleasure. With each thrust he kissed you or whispered how much he wanted you, the beautiful you are, that he hadn’t stopped thinking about you since the day he met you. And you… you wanted to tell him so many things but in that moment your mind was swimming and you couldn’t say anything else than “Rafael”, that name that was hunting you since you knew it.  
Each one of his thrusts was better than the last one and you were consumed by passion. You were close to your orgasm and felt that Rafael was too.

-Niña… vente conmigo, por favor –he whispered.  
-Oh, God, Rafael! –you screamed when you felt your orgasm through your body, clenching the pillow above your head.

Soon afterwards, he came too with a deep and long thrust and pulled you closer trying to bury completely inside of you.

-Dios mío… eres bellísima… -he panted against your face with his eyes closed. 

Then he leaned beside you, put his arm around your shoulders and slept with you over his chest.  
Usually you didn’t like that. The times when you had sex, you rolled over because you couldn’t sleep if someone was holding you. But not tonight. Tonight you just wanted to have him close. You felt absorbed by his essence and the feeling of his lips and touch remained in your skin. You were sure that in some parts of your body he had left visible marks. You closed your eyes and felt sleep with your mind still on the stars and your body still trembling a bit, consequence of your ecstasy.  
You woke up hours later and you thought for a while that you only closed your eyes for a couple of minutes until you saw the light through the curtains. You felt rested and relaxed and still on Rafael’s chest. He looked gorgeous when he was sleeping. Just a few could imagine that he was such a trouble maker who could make a woman burn in passion beneath him. How many could know that? The women he slept with, for start. A wave of jealousy pierced your mind. You didn’t want to know anything about them. Not their names nor how many. Any of them. You knew you weren’t his first, not likely. Not with the experience he’d showed you. He wasn’t your first, either, but he was your best for miles.

A phone rang. His phone.

He woke up at the sound and looked for his phone immediately. It was on the floor along with his clothes. He got out of bed trying to not wake you up since he saw you sleeping. At least, he thought that when he saw your eyes closed.

-Barba –he answered and looked at his watch, almost whispering trying to not disturb you –I know. I’ll be there in a couple of hours.

You heard that he entered into the bathroom and closed the door. Suddenly, you realized that it was Monday and you had to get up to go to work before going to court. With a huge effort, you left the bed, put a t-shirt on and went straight to the kitchen to make some coffee.  
Now the reality hit you. The ADA and you slept together. You had sex and he was still the ADA and you were his witness. It didn’t feel like a mistake, but you knew that this time the two of you had gone too far. He could lose his job, or at least, his case. A very strong case and you’ve ruined it because you couldn’t resist his touch. You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t hear him enter.  
He held you from behind and kissed your neck.

-Good morning, niña –he whispered against your neck. He was wearing only his jeans.

You smiled and grab his hands on your waist, and then you turned to face him and kissed him deeply.  
No! You have to focus! His case! His job! You can’t do this to him!

-Wait… wait… -you said between kisses –Rafael…  
-What is it?  
-You DO realize that this is wrong, right?  
-Is it? –he answered with his eyes closed, and running his nose against your cheek. God, that felt amazing. You ran your fingers through his hair. Would you have time to have sex again before going to work?  
No! Focus!

-Rafael… wait –you said taking one step back. You knew it was dangerous that he was so close to you –I don’t want to ruin your case and I know that I can’t talk about this with no one, I swear I won’t.

He licked his lips. Christ, how much you adore him when he does that.

-Come on –you sighed –you know that.

He looked at you and approached you, lifted your chin with his thumb and kissed you again.

-I hate myself for driving you through this –he whispered against your lips.  
-Don’t do that. I wanted it… so much… and I’m aware that no one can ever know what happened here. And no one will.  
-Escúchame niña. This wasn’t a one night stand. And when this trial is over…  
-Rafael, you don’t have to promise me anything.

You were sure your eyes sparkled when he said that that wasn’t a one night stand, but you didn’t want him to think that it was his duty to stay with you now. In a second thought, you actually doubt that anyone could make Rafael Barba do something he didn’t want to do.  
-Unless –he said –you don’t want to see me again.  
-No! It’s not that! It’s your job! The case!  
-Let me take care of that. Not you. Don’t worry about it –he said, stroking your face, and you melted once again under his touch.

And then you melted with his kiss. Until you listen to a phone ringing.

-Mierda –he said –Barba, I know. I’ll be there in a couple of hours. I’ll see you there.

He hung up knowing that he had said that he would be there in “a couple of hours” already.

You took a sip of coffee and gave him a cup of it. He drank it in silence and left the cup on the sink remembering the night before.  
-I’m not running away from you, it’s just…  
-You have to go. I know. I have to go to work before going to court as well.  
-I’m sorry –he said before giving you a quick kiss –I’ll make it up to you. I promise.  
And you knew he meant it.

\-------------------------

-What is this, Mr. Barba? –asked the judge, once they were in her office.  
-A weak attempt of the defense to get a mistrial, your Honor –he answered, looking at Buchanan.  
-Your Honor –Buchanan said –I have proof that the witness and the DA have an inappropriate relationship, which is prejudicial to my client.  
-Your client raped five women and the witness is not one of them –said Rafael.  
-Actually, I was hoping that you would say that you don’t have a relationship with the witness, Mr. Barba –said the judge.  
-I don’t, your Honor.

The judge took the pictures and saw them. Buchanan had an arrogant smile on his face and Rafael just wanted to see the pictures. What kind of proof was he talking about?

-Do you see, your Honor? –asked Buchanan.  
-I see it, Counsellor –the judge said –what I don’t see it’s the proof you say you have.

The judge gave the pictures to Rafael so he could see them. That day came to his mind immediately. Of course he remembered it. You had an appointment with him at his office.

\---------------------------

“What is it?” you asked that day since Rafael was kind of distant.  
“Did you sleep with him?” he said as an answer while he felt the jealousy, sharp as a knife, through him. The idea that that jerk had even approached you was killing him.  
“No, I told you that already”

But he didn’t say anything, he just looked at you.

“You don’t believe me, do you?”

You turned around and walked outside of the building. You only wanted to get to your car and leave. Rafael saw you leaving and froze for a second. But only a second. He ran behind you and reached you at the stairs outside the building. His first instinct was holding your hand so you don’t leave at all.

“Wait!”

You stopped as you felt his hand over yours and turned around to face him.

“I do believe you”, he said looking straight into your eyes without letting you go.

\----------------------------

And that was it. That was all these pictures were about. The images of the ADA holding a woman’s hand in different angles.  
-Really? –asked Barba when he gave back the picture to Buchanan –A relationship because of that?  
-It’s obvious. Your Honor, as you can see…  
-I see them holding hands. I don’t see them kissing or having sex, Counsellor. That doesn’t prove anything and I won’t let you ask the witness about this.  
-But your Honor… -Buchanan insisted.  
-Don’t even try it, Counsellor. You can’t ask any question to the witness about a so called relationship with the DA. Since you haven’t proved it, you can’t ask her. We’ll continue next Monday. Have a good afternoon.  
Rafael Barba left the building and had a reunion with Jack McCoy, who wasn’t particularly happy with Buchanan’s questions.

-What do you have with her? –asked McCoy.  
-Nothing.  
-But you would like to have something.  
-I… I don’t have to answer that.  
-You’re a good lawyer, Rafael. But you’re also a man, and sometimes women can drive men a little crazy…  
-I can control myself. I’m not in high school, Jack.  
-You better do that.

 

The Friday passed by but Rafael couldn’t stop thinking about you. Thanks to Buchanan you probably would be terribly worried. He spent the Saturday trying to focus in other things, until the Sunday afternoon, when he went with his best friend, Harry, also his former roommate in Harvard, to eat something.  
-If your case is that strong, you shouldn’t be worried.  
-I know.  
-But I think we both know it’s not the case you’re worried about –Harry said, before taking a sip of beer.  
-What are you talking about?  
-Come on, Rafael. We both know that, at this moment, it’s more important to you whatever happens to that girl… your special witness, than the whole trial.  
-Don’t say the same things that McCoy said, please…  
-Am I wrong?

Rafael didn’t answer; he drank the red wine in front of him. For some years, he didn’t have any special relationship. All the sex he had was only one night stands and nothing else. The last serious relationship he had was with Yelina, and he knew he lost her when she confessed him that she was in love with Alex Muñoz, one of his best friends.

\------------------------------

“-Rafi, please… –Yelina said that night, trying to hold him.  
-Don’t! Don’t you dare to touch me! –he shouted, moving his arms away from her.

Then he drove through the night to Alex’s apartment, and when he opened the door, Rafael could see the lights of the candles, the roses across the whole space.  
-Rafael? –a surprised Alex said. Surprise mixed with anxiety.  
-Were you waiting for her?  
-Rafael, let me explain…  
-Explain? Really? Fine. Explain.

Alex couldn’t stand Rafael’s gaze. How could he explain this? How could he explain that he and Yelina had seen each other for some months?

Rafael was hurt. If Yelina didn’t want him anymore, she could’ve just said so. But she didn’t. She wasn’t distant; her behavior didn’t change at all. Rafael didn’t suspect a thing. He didn’t see that coming…”

\--------------------------------

Rafael let the cup of wine over the table. After what happened with Alex and Yelina, he thought for months that maybe that had been his fault. In time, he recovered his confidence and used it in court, but he didn’t consider another relationship. It was simply too painful. 

\---------------------------------

“-Come on, Barba –Liv insisted –she met this guy.  
-Was she assaulted?  
-No, but…  
-So what’s the point of talking to her?  
-She’s not a victim, so she’s not traumatized. She can help us.  
-Alright –Rafael said, not really convinced.  
-I’ll get her –Liv said.

Rafael checked his phone. And then you arrived, like a hurricane, with your beautiful smile and your bright eyes.

Olivia Benson said your name – come on in, this is ADA…  
-Rafael Barba –he said, approaching you to shake your hand –at your service…

You gave him your sweetest smile. And his sleeping heart woke up again…”

\-----------------------------------

-What happened on Friday was awful to her. She must be worried and she has to testify tomorrow without any clue of what the judge decided. I should go to talk to her.  
-On Sunday?

The waitress arrived with the check, they both paid and left the restaurant. Rafael went towards his car.

-So… are you going to look for her? –asked Harry.  
-Um, yes –Rafael answered looking for his keys.  
-You should take this.

Rafael looked at it. A condom. 

-You must be kidding me.  
-Why? Believe me. It’s better to have one and don’t need it than need it and don’t have one, like a car insurance.  
\- I’m just going to talk to her.  
-Rafael. It’s me. Harry. You don’t have to lie to me. I know you. I know you’re crazy for her.  
-I can control myself, Harry, don’t worry. I told McCoy and I tell you: I’m not in high school. I won’t need that.  
-You say that because you’re in front of me and not in front of her. We’ve been friends over 20 years, Rafael. All I’ve heard this week it’s how gorgeous she is, how smart she is…  
-Alright, I get it.  
-Take this, I mean it.

Rafael looked at it. No. if he took it, he wouldn’t stop imagining you in his bed. In fact, he had done that before, when he held your hand that day outside the court.  
-Take. It.

Rafael took the condom and kept it in one of his jeans’ pockets.  
-I’m taking it just to be polite. Not because I’m going to use it.  
-Mmhh… go get her, tiger –Harry answered with a smile.

When Rafael tried to answer something back, Harry had already gotten into his car and left. Then Rafael looked at his watch, it wasn’t that late. He arrived at your building but all the lights of your apartment were off. Damn it. He knocked twice without answer. Great. You were not even home, so he was torturing himself all the way there because he had a condom in his jeans for nothing.

-Rafael? –you asked behind him.

“You say that because you’re in front of me and not in front of her”, Harry had said that to him. And he was right. When he saw you that condom in his pocket wasn’t that terrible idea after all. 

You invited him in and gave him some water. He could hear you in the kitchen and he had an empty glass in his hands. He should take that to the kitchen. Because that’s what an educated person does. And because there’s where you are. He entered quietly and saw you standing in front of the sink. He suddenly was behind you and left the glass.  
-Should I leave this here? –he asked.

You turned around to see him. Those beautiful eyes locked on his. 

Buchanan. McCoy. The whole trial. To the hell with them.

He kissed you and you opened your mouth immediately. He thrust his tongue gently into your mouth. It had been a long time since someone kissed him like that. His mind was cloudy and when he went back to reality you were in your bedroom. He looked at you and you looked gorgeous. He decided he would take his time on this. He had been daydreaming about this moment and he wouldn’t waste it. God bless Harry for that condom!

After you both came, he didn’t sleep immediately although you did. You were so beautiful when you were asleep. 

Rafael woke up in the middle of the night. That wasn’t his bedroom and the smell of blueberries of your hair reminded him where he was. He thought for a second in Yelina and he looked at you. You wouldn’t do that to him. Not you. He sighed. Who told him that you wanted to stay with him?  
He held you closer. He could feel it. This wasn’t a one night stand. He had had a thousand one night stands and he knew how they look like. This night is different. You were different.

“I can control myself”

Yeah. Sure. Damn it Rafael! He said that to McCoy, to Harry, to Amaro, and all of them looked at him not really convinced. Was it that obvious that he was crazy about you?  
He ran his fingers through your hair and the smell of blueberries intensified. You turned around to see him. 

-Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up –he said.

Liar. He was getting hard again since he started to remember every single detail of that night and that smell of blueberries in your hair was intoxicating him. “You can’t keep lying, Rafael. You can’t control yourself around her”.  
He made love to you again, feeling so aroused with each kiss and with the moans that you let escape from your lips, saying his name like a prayer. He felt in heaven with your touch on his skin and also adored every inch of you until he reached his orgasm, just seconds after you reached yours.

In the morning, the sound of his phone woke him up. He answered trying not to disturb you, got into the bathroom and closed the door. He had to go to court ASAP. He washed his face and realized that he had to go to his apartment first. He couldn’t go to court in jeans. He should be in a hurry, but the last thing Rafael wanted was running away from you. He’d hated you believe that.  
When he got out of the bathroom you were no longer in bed and heard some noise from the kitchen. He put his jeans on and went there. His green eyes went wide when he saw you wearing nothing but a t-shirt. He held you from behind.

-Good morning, niña.

You turned around to kiss him and he felt absorbed by your lips. That was an excellent morning! He was lost in the feeling of your bare legs and his bare chest. And then you moved away, trying to stop him, so he did. 

“You’re imagining things that don’t exist, Rafael”, he thought “Who told you that she wanted to keep you?”

-Unless you don’t want to see me again –he said, trying to hide he was hurt.  
-No! It’s not that! It’s your job! The case!

And then he was relieved. You were worried about HIM. Not his case. Not the trial. You were actually interested on him, and he knew you could have any man you wanted.  
-Let me take care of that. Not you.

And then he kissed you again, taking your face in his beautiful hands.  
-I’m sorry. I’ll make up to you. I promise –he said before leaving.

\------------------

You went to work to do some stuff, but you couldn’t even concentrate. Your mind was still in the clouds, you were not aware of the time until you watch the hour in the computer. Damn it! You had just enough time to go to court.  
When you arrived, you saw the detectives and your ADA talking outside the building. You went upstairs and said hello to everybody without any special treatment to Rafael Barba, although you wanted to.  
-Let’s go inside, shall we? –said Olivia Benson.

When you got in the courtroom, Rafael walked beside you like a professional and you realized that you’d never wanted a man that much in your whole life.

-Do you have any questions about this? –he asked you before you testify.  
-No, not really.  
-By the way, you look amazing in that dress –he whispered and smiled before leaving you.

God, you’d wished he’d never said that. You felt a hard blush crossing your face that you tried to conceal, as you take your sit beside the judge.  
The trial went on and at the end of the week it hasn’t finished yet.  
On Saturday night you were watching TV. It was boring, there was nothing, really. You turned it off and started reading a book. It was almost midnight. Perhaps you should leave it and go straight to bed; you were in your pajamas already.  
You washed your face and looked yourself in the mirror when you heard someone knocking the door. Who could it be at this hour?

And when you opened the door you did your best to stay on your feet. 

Rafael Barba.


End file.
